Chapter 5.3: On the Road Again (Con't)

Do you think anyone ever got to the end of that song?  I think you would have to be really, really drunk to finish that song.  It’s just way too long.

There is one song that’s even longer than “One Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” It’s called “The Song That Never Ends.” It just keeps repeating itself, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over  and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over an and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and over and over and over again and over and over and over and over and over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over again over

You skipped ahead again didn’t you!!!!!!!

It does end eventually, when you lose your voice and can’t sing anymore. 

If you can’t sing, there is another way to occupy kids during a long drive.  It’s called the… actually, I don’t know what it’s called.  We really don’t have a name for it.  It’s a memory game that everyone in the car can play.  It goes like this; “We’re going to Camp Paradise and we’re going to bring a (word starting with “A”).”  So the first person who starts may say; “We’re going to Camp Paradise and we’re bringing an apple.”  The next person says; “We’re going to Camp Paradise and we’re bringing an apple and a blanket (word starting with “B”).”  The next person says: “We’re going to Camp Paradise and we’re bringing an apple, blanket and a cappuccino (word starting with “C”).”  The further you get into the game the harder it becomes.  The person who makes a mistake is out and the last person left is the winner. 

The game is pretty simple if you’re the average family with an IQ of the Beverly Hillbillies.  You try to stick with short words, maybe three letters long.  “We’re going to Camp Paradise and we’re going to bring an ant, bat, cap, dog, Elly May.”  I would definitely want to bring Elly May to Camp Paradise…. if I wasn’t married of course. Can you imagine if it was a family of doctors playing this game? "We’re going to Camp Paradise and we’re going to bring an ateria vertebralis, Basel cell adenoma, carpal articulation and finally a zostor encephalomyelitis."  My family is more in line with the Beverly Hillbillies. We do on occasion get up to  fore letter words.  Oh. I'm sorry. that's "four" letter words.  See that, my 6th grade education is really paying off.

So we start playing the game.  Everyone is still in it until we get to the “S” word and it’s my turn.  My mind starts cycling thru the “S” words when all of a sudden it happens.  It‘s like the heavens open up.  My thinking was as clear as it can be.

“We forgot the stakes!!!!!” I yell out in horror.

“No, no Bonnie says.  I put the steaks in the cooler.”  “Not those steaks I said.  The stakes that hold the tent down!  I left them soaking in the bucket on the patio.  I knew I shouldn’t have cleaned those stakes.”  “So now you’re going to blame me, right; Bonnie says.”  Well, it was crossing my mind, my clearly thinking mind.  I thought to myself, how can I put up a tent that’s as big as my family room without staking it down?  Tree branches first came to mind.  Then a nice hotel room sounded even better.  Oh well, at least I have another hour of driving to think about it.