Thursday, April 19, 2012

Mosquitoes, bite me!

Carl here.  I looked on the Internet and found some fun ways to keep mosquitoes from biting. 

Eating garlic supposedly keeps the mosquitoes at bay.  I know it repels women, but mosquitoes.  And what about Italian mosquitoes, is it going to work on them? 

….Do you know the difference between Italian mosquitoes and regular mosquitoes? Italian mosquitoes are the ones with the hairy legs…..

  I would think you would have to eat enough Garlic until it oozed out of your pores.  By that time, you’re going to repel everything you come in contact with: men, women, animals, insects, mother-in-laws.  Mother-in laws………..?    “Bonnie, do you have any Garlic bread?”

You could rub vinegar all over your body to keep the mosquitoes from biting. Really, do you want to smell like a double order of French fries?  Let me ask you this…. What’s worse, getting eaten by mosquitoes or bears?  I’ll take the mosquitoes. One Internet web site says to rub lard all over your body. Lard?   Lard might save you from mosquitoes, but it won’t save you from rats, a cardiac arrest, or a slippery slope for that matter.

Putting lemon on your wrist and ankles, some say, can prevent mosquito bites.  I say, why just protect your wrist and ankles; spray your entire body with Lemon Pledge.  Not only will the mosquitoes not bite you, but you’ll be nice and shinny, and dust free. 

Camping fun with Carl, signing off.