Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Chapter 5.7 On the Road Again (con't)

After driving for three hours I start to feel a little drowsy.  My eyes are straining to see the road ahead while  my brain is desperately begging for oxygen to keep me awake.  My body starts contorting in the seat to ease the muscle spasms.  All right, that’s a little dramatic; I’m sick and tired of driving.  It’s been three hours after all.  Wait, what’s that, what’s that straight ahead; my eyes are so tired I can barely make it out.  It looks like a sign.  It says Cammmp Parrrrri…. Camp Paradise next left. 

Hallelujah, ♫♫♫ hallelujah, hallelujah ♪♫♪, haalaaluuujah ♫♫♫, hallelujah ♫♫♫ hallelujah ♫♫♫ hallelujah hallelujah ♪♫♪ haalaaluuujah.  All right, who keeps switching the radio?

It’s always a relief when you finally arrive at your destination, or so I thought.  I made the left at the sign and turned into a dirt road.  Do they have dirt roads in Paradise?  I expected at least stone, maybe even asphalt.  I know I’m a pestamis, but this is not starting out good.  This road is like never ending, its pitch black out except for my headlights.  I can barely make out road.  I can see glowing orbs of lights staring at me as my headlight reflex off the eyes of hidden marsupials.

What’s that up ahead?  Oh! It’s a skunk.  No—o its two skunks,,,  three skunks,,,, four skunks,,,,,, six skunks, twenty skunks!!! A hundred freaking skunks!!!!!  “Scotty beam me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Where the heck are we!”  Did that sign say Camp Paradise or Skunk Paradise next left?  I never have seen so many skunks in my life.  Wait one minute, let me check the Camp Paradise brochure again; nope, there’s no mention of skunks greeting you at the entrance.  For some reason, they left the skunk greeting out of the brochure.

Lets’ see, “here’s a skunk, there’s a skunk, every where’s a skunk skunk., a stripe stripe here, a stripe stripe there, there’s a stripe, here’s a stripe, every where’s a stripe stripe” …….  …….hmmmm……… “I do not like skunks here nor there, I do not like skunks anywhere, I do not like them in a box, I do not like them with a fox.  Not in a box, not with a fox, not here nor there, not anywhere”……….”Skunk skunk here ♫♫♫, skunk skunk there ♫♫♫ in the merry oh land of OZ, it’s time to skunk the day away ♫♫ in the merry oh land of OZ.”  I must be really tired; I’m regressing back to my childhood.  Old McDonald, Dr Seuss and The Wizard of OZ are playing mind games in my head.  It’s time to drive thru Skunkville and straight ahead to Camp Paradise. Like the Fresh Prince of Bellaire said, Smell you later.” 

There she blows, Camp Paradise just beyond the small bridge over the creek. “We’re heeeerrrreeee.” I shouted.   We made it; now if we can only find our campsite. It’s totally pitch black out except for a few lingering camp fires. I put on my parking lights to see.  You’re really not supposed to drive with your headlights on in the campsite, especially at 12:30AM when everyone is sleeping.  “Hey! Over here, over here!”  Did I say everyone is sleeping, not Bonnie’s family.  Their night was just beginning.  That’s bad news for me, I’m ready to go to bed, or in my case to air mattress.  The only problem is we have to unpack and set the tent up.