Friday, September 23, 2011

The Math Formula for Tent Camping.

Carl here!  I bet you didn't know that camping is based on a math formula.  I'm no Einstein (just ask my wife), but I do have a unified theory on camping. Lets start by breaking camping down to its lowest denominator, dirt.  Camping's dirty little secret.

Without dirt there would be no camping (or mud wrestling, right guys!). But you need more than just dirt, you need bikinis, girls in bikinis that is.  Oh, I'm sorry, lets stick with camping.  So you need dirt, open field...  a grassy open field.....a wooded , grassy open field. Yeah, that's it.

Dirt + wooded grassy open field = camping.  There has got to be more.  My  mother aways said, "Don't leave home without protection."  Not that kind of protection, I was raised Catholic!  She was talking about a tent.  You need some sort of protection from the elements.

 Lets see, Dirt + wooded grassy open field + tent = camping.  Not quite finished yet.  To save time and keep the spell checker from going crazy, here's my finished formula.

Dirt + wooded grassy open field + tent + sleeping bags + air mattresses + lantern + propane stove + propane grill + bug spray + food + water + beer + nagging wife + CPAP machine + crying children + toys + Can Jam + firewood + air pump + cooking utensils + more stuff + even more stuff + U-Haul  truck = "I'M  NOT GOING CAMPING"

Just like Einstein, my formula needs some work.  If anyone out there has a better formula, please send it in.

Camping fun with Carl, signing out!