Chapter 5.2: On the Road Again (Con't)

After the first hour of driving I snap out of it and I’m wide awake and alert.  The mental check list starts scrolling again.  What did I forget to do?  What did I forget to bring?  I know I’m forgetting something.  Oh well; “Continue on course Mr. Sulu.”  

The kids usually behave well for the first hour and then boredom starts setting in.  I start hearing voices in the back seat:  “You’re sitting to close to me; stop looking at me; quit touching me.”  Oh great, the kids are starting to act up, just what I didn’t need. 

I turn around to find out its’ Nana, my mother –in- law.  She’s causing the entire ruckus.  I just can’t get any breaks.  I know it was bound to happen sooner or later.  Nanas’ like the Big Bang, everything was nice and quiet and then boooooooooommmmmmmm.  She sets the kids in motion, a constantly expanding universe of fighting, crying, laughing, poking, screaming, hair pulling and normal kid stuff.  Unfortunately it’s the kind of stuff that drives parents crazy.  If only the Super Nanny was here. 

Why wasn’t the Super Nanny around twenty years ago when I needed her?  Neither were Dr. Phil, Dr Laura, and Dr. Ruth.  All right, forget Dr. Ruth, she told you how to make kids, not how to raise them.  How did we manage back then to raise kids without all this professional help?   Pretty well I think.  We learned to raise kids from our parents.  Not from some celebrity doctor. 

My father had a good way of managing kids on a car trip.  He would lead us in a sing-a-long.  But he didn’t sing any old short songs like “The Farmer in the Dell” or “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star;” No, he always picked the song that lasted so long we would all become tired and fall asleep. My father made us sing the song of all songs, the song you sing on long car rides, the ultimate beer drinking song, “One Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” 

He also taught us how to tell time…. that didn’t go quite as well.  We’re all still in therapy, some twenty years later after that lesson. But I can tell you the time of day in any city, here or abroad, without even looking at a watch.  Anyway, the song stayed with me and I passed it on to my kids.  It goes something like this.

♪♫ “One hundred bottles of beer on the wall, one hundred bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall.  Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall.  Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-eight bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall.  ♫ Ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-seven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-six bottles of beer on the wall.  Ninety-six bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-six bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall.  Ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-five bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-four bottles of beer on the wall.  Nine-four bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-four bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-three bottles of beer on the wall. ♫♫ Ninety-three bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-three bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-two bottles of beer on the wall.  Ninety-two bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-two bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-one bottles of beer on the wall.  Ninety-one bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-one bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety bottles of beer on the wall.  Ninety bottles of beer on the wall, ninety bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty-nine bottles of beer on the wall.  Eighty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-nine bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty-eighty bottles of beer on the wall.  Eighty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-eight bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty -seven bottles of beer on the wall. ♫ Eighty-seven bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-seven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty-six bottles of beer on the wall.  Eighty-six bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-six bottles of beer,if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty-five bottles of beer on the wall.  Eighty-five bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-five bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty-four bottles of beer on the wall.  Eighty-four bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-four bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty-three bottles of beer on the wall.  Eighty-three bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-three bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty-two bottles of beer on the wall.  ♪♫ Eighty-two bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-two bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty-one bottles of beer on the wall.  Eighty-one bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-one bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighty bottles of beer on the wall.  Eighty bottles of beer on the wall, eighty bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventy-nine bottles of beer on the wall.  Seventy-nine bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-nine bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventy-eight bottles of beer on the wall. ♪♫ Seventy - eight bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-eight bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventy-seven bottles of beer on the wall.  Seventy-seven bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-seven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventy-six bottles of beer on the wall.  Seventy-six bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-six bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventy-five bottles of beer on the wall. Seventy -five bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-five bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventy-four bottles of beer on the wall. Seventy-four bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-four bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventy-three bottles of beer on the wall. Seventy-three bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-three bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventy-two bottles of beer on the wall.  Seventy-two bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-two bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventy-one bottles of beer on the wall.  Seventy-one bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-one bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty-nine bottles of beer on the wall.  Sixty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-nine bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty-eight bottles of beer on the wall.  Sixty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-eight bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty-seven bottles of beer on the wall.  Sixty-seven bottles of beer on the wall, sixty- seven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty-six bottles of beer on the wall.  ♪♫Sixty-six bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-six bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty-five bottles of beer on the wall.  Sixty-five bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-five bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty-four bottles of beer on the wall.  Sixty-four bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-four bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty-three bottles of beer on the wall.  ♪♫♪♫ Sixty- three bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-three bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty-two bottles of beer on the wall.  Sixty-two bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-two bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty-one bottles of beer on the wall.  Sixty-one bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-one bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixty bottles of beer on the wall.  Sixty bottles of beer on the wall, sixty bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty-nine bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-nine bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty-eight bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-eight bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty -seven bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifty-seven bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-seven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty-six bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifty- six bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-six bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty -five bottles of beer on the wall. ♪♪♪ Fifty - five bottles of beer on the wall, fifty - five bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty -four bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifty-four bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-four bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty- three bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifty-three bottles of beer on the wall, fifty- three bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty-two bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifty-two bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-two bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty-one bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifty-one bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-one bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifty bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifty bottles of beer on the wall, fifty bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty -nine bottles of beer on the wall.  Forty -nine bottles of beer on the wall, forty -nine bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty-eight bottles of beer on the wall.    Forty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, forty-eight bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty -seven bottles of beer on the wall. ♫♪♫ Forty-seven bottles of beer on the wall, forty-seven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty-six bottles of beer on the wall.  Forty-six bottles of beer on the wall, forty-six bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty-five bottles of beer on the wall.  Forty-five bottles of beer on the wall, forty-five bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty -four bottles of beer on the wall.  Forty-four bottles of beer on the wall, forty-four bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty -three bottles of beer on the wall.  Forty-three bottles of beer on the wall, forty-three bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty-two bottles of beer on the wall.  Forty - two bottles of beer on the wall, forty-two bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty-one bottles of beer on the wall.  Forty-one bottles of beer on the wall, forty - one bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty bottles of beer on the wall. ♫♪ Forty bottles of beer on the wall, forty bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty-nine bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, thirty -nine bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty-eight bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-eight bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty-seven bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirty-seven bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-seven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty-six bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirty-six bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-six bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty-five bottles of beer on the wall. ♪♫Thirty-five bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-five bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty -four bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirty-four bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-four bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty -three bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirty-three bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-three bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty-two bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirty-two bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-two bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty -one bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirty-one bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-one bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirty bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirty bottles of beer on the wall, thirty bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twenty-nine bottles of beer on the wall.  Twenty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, twenty -nine bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twenty -eight bottles of beer on the wall.  ♫♪♫ Twenty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, twenty-eight bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twenty-seven bottles of beer on the wall.  Twenty-seven bottles of beer on the wall, twenty-seven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twenty-six bottles of beer on the wall. Twenty-six bottles of beer on the wall, twenty-six bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twenty-five bottles of beer on the wall.  Twenty-five bottles of beer on the wall, twenty-five bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twenty -four bottles of beer on the wall.  Twenty-four bottles of beer on the wall, twenty-four bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twenty-three bottles of beer on the wall.  Twenty-three bottles of beer on the wall, twenty- three bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twenty -one bottles of beer on the wall.  Twenty-one bottles of beer on the wall, twenty - one bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twenty bottles of beer on the wall.  Twenty bottles of beer on the wall, twenty bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, nineteen bottles of beer on the wall.  Nineteen bottles of beer on the wall, nineteen bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eighteen bottles of 

beer on the wall. ♪♫ Eighteen bottles of beer on the wall, eighteen bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seventeen bottles of beer on the wall.  Seventeen bottles of beer on the wall, seventeen bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, sixteen bottles of beer on the wall. Sixteen bottles of beer on the wall, sixteen bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fifteen bottles of beer on the wall.  Fifteen bottles of beer on the wall, fifteen bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, fourteen bottles of beer on the wall.  Fourteen bottles of beer on the wall, fourteen bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, thirteen bottles of beer on the wall.  Thirteen bottles of beer on the wall, thirteen bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, twelve bottles of beer on the wall.  Twelve bottles of beer on the wall, twelve bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eleven bottles of beer on the wall. .  Eleven bottles of beer on the wall, eleven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, ten bottles of beer on the wall. ♫♪ Ten bottles of beer on the wall, ten bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, nine bottles of beer on the wall. . Ten bottles of beer on the wall, ten bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, nine bottles of beer on the wall. . Ten bottles of beer on the wall, ten bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, nine bottles of beer on the wall. . Nine bottles of beer on the wall, nine bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, eight bottles of beer on the wall. . ♫♪♫ Eight bottles of beer on the wall, eight bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, seven bottles of beer on the wall. . Seven bottles of beer on the wall, seven bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, six bottles of beer on the wall. . Six bottles of beer on the wall, six bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, five bottles of beer on the wall. . Five bottles of beer on the wall, five bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, four bottles of beer on the wall. . Four bottles of beer on the wall, four bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, three bottles of beer on the wall. . ♪♪ Three bottles of beer on the wall, three bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, two bottles of beer on the wall. . Two bottles of beer on the wall, two bottles of beer, if just one of those bottles should happen to fall, one bottles of beer on the wall. . One bottle of beer on the wall, one bottle of beer, if just one bottle should happen to fall, there’s no--- more---- bottles---- of---- beer---- on---- the---- waaallllllllllllll.” ♪♫♪♪♪♫♪

You skipped ahead didn’t you!!!!!!!

 

Chapter 5.1: On the Road Again

There’s always that moment of uncertainty, just when you’re about to turn the key, when a thousand thoughts flood your mind.  A mental check list starts to scroll. Questions start being asked.  What did I forget to do?  What did I forget to bring?  I know I’m forgetting something.  Oh well, take us to warp factor 1 Mr. Sulu.  Off we go….. Oh, by the way, I always talk to invisible Star Trek characters.  Not that I’m crazy or paranoid…..

I never really liked to drive long distances.  I always made it a point to work close to home just for that reason. My current job is only 1.5 miles from my house.  My previous job was only a mile.  If I could work at my house it would be perfect. If I didn’t have to get out of bed it would be perfect.  What kind of job could I do from my house and not have to get out of bed?  Hmmmm, I don’t think my wife would appreciate that one.

It seems like the first hour of driving is always the worst for me, especially on the New York State “Toll”way.  For some reason when we first start off I’m always tired and can barely keep my eyes open. Everybody else in the car is having fun, playing games, relaxing while I’m trying to keep my eyes from shutting.  It gets really bad when I drive at night.  Every biorhythm in my body is telling me to go to sleep.  My right side of my brain is telling me, if I close my eyes for just one second everything will be alright. Thank goodness for the left side of my brain.  “LISTEN TO ME IDIOT, IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES EVEN FOR ONE SECOND YOU’RE A DEAD MAN.”   That was my left side brain talking.

I really think the problem for me is what I call “The White Snake.” You know; those broken white lines between the lanes.  They’re constantly coming at you, spaced perfectly apart, never ending, sometimes turning, sometimes straight, weaving in and out, following every car movement just like a snake. The White snake actually knows what I’m thinking.  If I speed up, it speeds up.  If I slow down, it slows down.  It also anticipates my turns.  If I turn into the left lane, it turns right.  If I turn into the left lane, it turns right. It knows exactly what I’m going to do at every moment. 

The White Snake is also subliminal. It’s a hypnotic Moores Code to the brain, saying, go to sleep, go to sleep…. “Stop it White snake, stop it!”  Oh…sorry, I almost dosed off for a second.

But it’s not the only thing that bothers me while I’m driving. 

 Just as you get used to the White snake coming at you, the road decides to throw you another distraction, which I call the heartbeat.  Thump thump, ---------- thump thump------------thump thump------------- thump thump!  That’s the sweet sound of your tires thumping on perfectly spaced road indentations and in perfect sync with the White snake.  Thump thump, line, line, line, line--- thump thump, line, line, line, line---thump thump, line, line, line, line--- thump thump!  It drives me crazy.  It’s like the Chinese Water Torture: drip, drip, drip, drip.

(My right side brain talking) If I close my eyes for just one second, everything will be alright.   “LISTEN TO ME IDIOT; IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES EVEN FOR ONE SECOND, YOU’RE A DEAD MAN.”    Thanks again, left side of my brain, and to you Mr. Spock.  Logic reasoning does have its good points. 

There’s still one more problem I usually have to deal while driving, my wife.  If we’re any substantial distance from home and its passed 9:00 pm, I’m the one driving and she’s the one sleeping.  She’s sleeping while I do all the work.  It kind of reminds me of my marriage.  The sleeping part doesn’t bother me that much, its’ the snoring part that does. So now you have thump thump, line, line, line, line, scqhuaaaaaaaa--- thump thump, line, line, line, line, scqhuaaaaaaaa ---thump thump, line, line, line, line, scqhuaaaaaaaa --- thump thump!  It sounds like a symphony from hell.  But like anything else in life you find ways to deal with it.  Turn up the radio.

Chapter 4.4: Packing for the Trip (Con't)

Reality check, it’s 8 pm, it’s getting dark and were still in the driveway.  I still have to drive for 3 hours!  When does the relaxing weekend start?

“Let’s get going, we were supposed to be there by now,” I yell from the driveway. “Start getting the kids in the car.”

Little did I know that I would be saying “let’s get going” for the next 20 some years.  Correction, I would be yelling “let’s get going” for the next twenty some years.  It’s a good thing I have a high tolerance for her lateness.  Actually it’s a good thing I have high blood pressure pills.

We start making the final check of the house before we leave.  Let’s see; the oven is off, all the windows are shut, the TV’s are off, a few lights on to scare the burglars away, and all the doors are locked, yada, yada, yada.  It looks like we’re ready to go.  “We can’t go yet,” Bonnie nonchalantly says.  “What do you mean we can’t go yet,” I asked.  “The kids are in the car and everything is packed?”  “What’s the problem?” “My mother’s not here yet,” she says.

“Your Mother is going with us !!!!!”

Where did I put those high blood pills?  All right calm down, calm down, I keep saying to myself.  “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming with us?” “Oh yada, yada, yada,” she says.  How about yada, yada, yada this.............  I just love Seinfeld.

Bottom line is, were the hel---- heck is she going to sit.  Maybe we should strap her to the bottom of the wagon since the top of it is already taken.  Calm down, calm down……

Of course, Bonnie’s mother is not here yet and we’re all ready to leave.  I guess being late is a hereditary trait, or better yet, a pain in the ass trait.  It’s getting towards 9 PM and we still haven’t left. 

Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, “Where the heck is she.”  Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting,waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, “Why isn’t she here yet.” Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, “Are you sure you told her?”  Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, “Never again!”  Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, “If she’s not here in five minutes!”  Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting,

waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. 

“Finally she’s here.” (elapsed time,10 minutes).  Ok, it felt like it was a lot longer.

So after another 30 minutes of packing manipulations and knot tying dexterity,

“Let’s get going!!!!!!!”