Stake Um

Carl here.  You can stake a claim, you can stake tomatoes, but always remember to stake down your tent.  Otherwise, a big gust of wind may come along and blow your tent up in the air, twirl it around and around, all while your screaming “Auntie Em, Auntie Em, Help me Auntie Em.”  Then, you end up in Munchkin Land and have to sing ♪♫ “Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road” ♪♫…… for the rest of your life.  You get the point, stake down your tent!

Tent stakes have funny names associated with them; you can buy Snow Tent Stakes, Ground Hog Stakes, and Blizzard Stakes.  Ground Hog Stakes….. really!  What exactly happens?  You pound the stake in the ground and kill a poor ground hog who was just minding his own business.  That might be alright if you’re a Beverly Hillbilly.  I’m sure Granny can cook up a nice Ground Hog stew.  But really!  And what about the Blizzard Stakes…….if you like camping during snow blizzards, maybe you should be wearing a straight jacket, and sleep in padded tent.

Tent stakes can be made of aluminum, titanium, steel or plastic.  Titanium, talk about high tech.  There must be some comfort in-knowing that the stakes that hold down your tent are made from the same material used in artificial knee joints.   “Yeah Barney, those there ti -tanium tent stakes will never, ever, corrode, and neither will my knee.”

I never had good luck with the plastic stakes.  Once you hit a few rocks, the tip of the stake starts bending…… and once that happens, you can never drive them straight in.  “A real man has to be able to drive his stakes in der straight; otherwise he ain’t no real man.  Right, Barney! “  

I prefer the old style wooden stakes, just in case there happens to be any Vampires lurking around.  Of course, I wouldn’t mind a few bites from Elvira.  Even if she is getting a little old…wait, vampires don’t age………she still has her original fangs, right…….?

Oh, I forgot to mention my favorite stake, a nice juicy T-Bone.  Bonnie, start the grill!  Ok, I’ll start the grill.

Camping fun with Carl, signing off.