It’s time to pump
up the air mattress. Blowing up an air mattress with my mouth isn’t my idea of
a good time. It takes an enormous amount
of air to blow up an air mattress. It would take at least thirty minutes to
blow it up with my lungs and that’s if I didn’t hyperventilate. So I bought this ten dollar pump at K-Mart
(sorry, the Big K) that plugs into the lighter (sorry, auxiliary port) of your
car. Just plug it in, turn on the switch
and the mattress blows up in a matter of minutes. Here we go, “HHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”(high
whining sound of air pump)……….. “Turn it
off, turn it off!” God is that you? “No
you idiot, its’ your wife; It's 1am in the morning, your waking everyone up.” I had no idea that the pump was that
loud. They should have made a muffler
for that pump. Now what do I do? There’s no way I’m sleeping on the floor of
the tent, it’s hard, cold and damp. What
should I do, what should I do............?
Keep on pumping!
“HHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”
(one minute later) (other campsites
shouting)
“Hey what’s that noise?” “Honey turn off your vibrator!” “What time is it?”
“HHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”
(two minutes) (other campsites) “We’re trying
to sleep here!” “You’re waking my kids
up!” “What’s wrong with that guy?” “It’s 1 AM in the morning!”
“HHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”
(three minutes) (other
campsites)
“I’m going to kill you”! “You’re dead meat”.
(Pleatherface) “Where’s my chainsaw”?
Alright, alright,
I’m done anyway I’ll turn it off, "click".
"Click", “HHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”
"Click"
Just
kidding, just kidding.
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